(cutting out first 8 seconds in the video due to silence)
A: For those of you who don’t know me (.) I’m Ollie ((cheering)) (xxxxxx) (2) I hope (.) supposed best man (.) uh all the way here from the UK with my friend Pete (.) who’s hiding somewhere
B: Whey
A: Whey> there we go Pete (.) so first of all I’d like to raise a massive toast (.) to two of the most beautiful and wonderful and loving people I have ever had the pleasure to have in my life (.) so if everybody could raise their glasses (.) I’ve lost mine but uh (2.5)
((laughter))
A: So a huge cheer to their future (.) our incredible fortune (.) and to everybody having a blast in this celebration of this wonderful event (6)
((various cries of cheers))
A: So before I really get going (.) let me just say (.) that the formative years I have spent in the company of the groom miz- means that he has had as much of a part in developing my sense of humour as anyone (1) so although I have tried to make this speech as funny as possible (.) please blame Simon if it’s not (2) and my second disclaimer is (.) that my speech does not really contain any original material so if anyone is offended (1) it’s got nothing to do with me (2)
((laughter))
A: So I’m told that the best speech makers follow three simple rules (2) speak up then very- (.) sorry stand up (.) speak up (.) then very quickly shut up (.) so I’ll try and stick to that advice (3)
((laughter))
A: As part of my research I discovered that according to tradition I’m supposed to sing the grooms praises (.) and tell you all about his many good points (.) well I’m very sorry to say (.) that I can’t sing and I won’t lie (4)
((laughter))
A: I am slightly bothered with the title of being the best man (.) If I am the best man (.) then why is Kim marrying Simon (7)
((enthusiastic laughter))
A: So I’m just happy to say (.) that I’m a pretty good man because today Simon is the best man (.) and he is a man I admire for many reasons (.) most notably his generous nature what with him donating his body to science when he sta-
((Laughter))
A: when he started at Queen’s University and preserving it in alcohol the entire time